Hope for My Brothers and Sisters Coming Out of Foster Care

As early as I can remember, my life has been an emotional rollercoaster. My family would go from being stable to being destitute, from living with my grandmother to living with my substance-addicted mother.

School was never stable, and this led my siblings and I to be truants. While in my grandmother’s care, she became ill and lost her battle to cancer when I was eight years old.

My mother would move us from hotel to hotel until my aunt finally contacted Child Protective Services (CPS) and had us removed from my mother’s care – and put into the foster care system.

Prior to that traumatic day, I acted as the parent of my three younger siblings. I was responsible for feeding, bathing, and caring for their emotional needs in the absence of my mother, who would disappear for days at a time.

Like my absent mother, the foster care system would display the same neglectful behavior towards me. And that system does the same to so many transition-age youth, especially when they leave their foster homes or group homes. I have seen too many of my peers and the young people I work with every day end up homeless.

In this society, and the community where I live, San Jose, I came to realize that we did not have a safety net for youth leaving the system.

That is why I founded Razing the Bar, a nonprofit that provides comprehensive mentorship and housing support for foster youth as they age out of the system. I have seen too many young people grow up without one single positive, lifelong relationship – no one who they can count on to help them navigate life. I created a community that aims to do just that: build positive lifelong relationships with youth exiting systems, primarily foster care.

Like my childhood, being the primary caregiver for my siblings, when it was my mother’s responsibility, I am doing the same for youth leaving the system when it is the responsibility of the child welfare system. I am simply doing what is not being done for my brothers and sisters exiting care.

My brothers and sisters need love and care, a stable home, and someone to be there for them. I am happy to say: Look no further, I am here, the Razing the Bar community is here; join us.

It is time that youth stop surviving and start thriving.